Alright, I get that everyone is tired of drones. Most significantly, the news coverage has been utterly unbalanced, frantic, and all-consuming.
Nobody is aware of anything. Nothing is known by the police. It sounds like the federal government doesn’t know anything. Everyone has a hypothesis, of course. They may be a group of little planes, a few DJI Mavic aficionados having a good time, or a full-scale alien invasion of our country’s most important state, depending on where you are on the DSM-5 spectrum for conspiracy-addled foolishness.
However, those whose jobs require them to have access to all the equipment and technology provided by bloated law enforcement budgets, those who possess security clearances, subpoena power, and all the other accoutrements of authority that most of us can only imagine, don’t know shit. It’s worse than that, really: they believe they know shit, and they’re willing to boldly stand in front of the public and proclaim so even though they don’t.
These are the best instances I could locate of government officials and elected figures, both past and present, spewing completely insane drivel on the drone sightings.
The majority of the sightings have occurred in New Jersey, where Congressman Jeff Van Drew represents the state. Additionally, he is entitled to high-level security briefings because he is a member of the House Judiciary Committee. He ought to be educated! Unfortunately, he doesn’t, as shown by his utterly irrational thoughts of the drones emanating from a “Iranian mothership” anchored off the Jersey Shore.
The truth will be revealed to you. These drones are part of a mothership that Iran launched, Van Drew told Fox News. “It is located off the U.S. East Coast.” Drones have been launched by them.
You can tell you’re going to receive a body-slam with some grade-A horsepucky when someone promises they’ll “tell you the real deal.”
The Pentagon disputed this, but Van Drew went one step farther and blasted defense department officials for hiding information on the drones and treating us like “stupid.” Additionally, he expanded the scope to include “China” and “someone else” because he was afraid that his fearmongering about Iran was not frightening enough.
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In a brief statement, he literally walked the entire thing back a day later. (I suppose no Fox News appearances due to awkward mea culpas.) The Iranian mothership that he had claimed to be off the coast of the United States on national television was, he said, actually still in Iran.
According to Van Drew, “this new information only brings us closer to figuring out what is really going on.” Thank you for your service, congressman.
Politicians who enjoy getting their hands dirty have seized the opportunity presented by the drone sighting frenzy. Imagine former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo in a flight tower, donning a parka and a headset, controlling the radar equipment himself if he were still in office.
Rather, we have shaky iPhone video from former Maryland Governor Larry Hogan, who says he “saw (and recorded)” multiple big drones flying over his house. Look! New Jersey is not the only one! There are other unexplained phenomena in Maryland.
Indeed, a community guidelines remark attached to Hogan’s tweet stated that some of the lights he saw were simply the constellation Orion. And Sirius and Procyon, the stars. Well, at least he was able to breathe.
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He posted on X, “Like many others who have seen these drones, I am not sure if this growing activity over our skies is a threat to national security or public safety.” (Last week, the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security stated that there was no concern to public safety since “many of the reported sightings are actually manned aircraft, operating lawfully.”
Michael Melham, the mayor of Belleville, was determined to seize this chance. He realized that, as mayor of a very tiny New Jersey suburb with a population of about 35,000, he wanted to make the most of his limited five minutes on Fox 5 by saying something that would draw attention to himself and create some content. The stakes had to be raised for him.
“What could they be searching for?” Melham wondered. We may be aware of a threat that entered Port Newark, though. It could be radioactive material. An alert on the disappearance of radioactive material in New Jersey on December 2nd was issued and is still in effect.
Melham isn’t strictly incorrect, to start. According to a recent report from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, some radioactive material disappeared. However, it lacks some crucial background information, specifically that the substance in question is cancer screening apparatus used to calibrate PET scanners. Furthermore, it was “unlikely to cause permanent injury” to the sum in question. The nuclear codes, that is!
Donald Trump, the president-elect, seems to be the only one enjoying the drone sightings. In addition to making fun of one of his favorite whipping boys, former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Trump is completely at his best when he can spew nonsense on a topic on which no one can agree what is true and what is not.
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He began by announcing that he was calling off his visit to his golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey, due to the discovery of drones there. (Previously, drone flights over Bedminster and the military station Picatinny Arsenal were prohibited by temporary flying restrictions issued by the Federal Aviation Administration.) Without providing any proof, he asserted that the military was aware of the drones’ “takeoff location.” Additionally, he exhorted people to “shoot them down!!!” in a social media post.
It’s not a good idea to shoot in the air!
It’s not a good idea to shoot in the air! particularly in places like New Jersey that have a high population density. Don’t pay attention to this dude.
Perhaps that has been the main lesson learned from all of this drone nonsense. Don’t pay attention to any of these individuals. Although their titles sound official—president, congressman, mayor, etc.—they are actually just like the rest of us. Despite their lack of knowledge, they are content to act as though they do. Suddenly, they resemble one of those uncontacted Amazonian tribes that have never seen modern technology as they notice a few lights in the sky.
In a joint statement issued yesterday, the FBI, Pentagon, Homeland Security, and FAA essentially put an end to all of the rumors. According to their assessment, “a combination of manned fixed-wing aircraft, helicopters, and stars mistakenly reported as drones, as well as lawful commercial drones, hobbyist drones, and law enforcement drones.”
To put it another way, it’s just what you would anticipate seeing at night in a crowded place in 2024. The most likely correct response is typically the most uninteresting.
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